Hozat N Pals
by Hozat
Summary: Im bored, so I made a Late night talk show, staring Me! I shall be interviewing people, and of course, getting mad at said people. Ill interview the Zelda chars, and others. YAY!
1. Chapter 1

-Sigh- I looked at my story, with like, 100 hits. Then a random story, with like, 40,000 hits. So. I gave up.

Link: Ha Ha, Loser!

Hozat: …

Zelda: Owned.

So, I figured I needed a story. So im gonna make this one. A random creation of things that pop in my head. Im making the characters

in my image, and they react as _**I **_say so.

Link: I will not!

Hozat: Your Emo.

Link is now cutting himself in the corner.

No, I don't think Link is emo.

P.S. Quin, got this from you! :)


	2. Time for an Interview!

Link: Hello folks! I am Link! With me on the set are Zelda and Tingle! On tonight's show, were going to be interviewing, Ganondorf!  
Ganondorf enters.  
Link: Hello Ganondork-er dorf. Welcome to the program!  
Ganondorf: Its great to be here Link.  
Link: First off, why are you always trying to kill me?  
Ganondorf: Well, I was the only male in a tribe full of women.  
Link: And that has to do with anything… because..?  
Ganondorf: Its cause of your freaking triforce! Jeez.  
Link and crowd: Oohh…  
Link: Next question, why do you always kidnap Zelda?  
Ganondorf: Its just so easy, I mean, she sets herself up.  
Zelda's voice from off set: OH YOU ARE SO DEAD!  
Ganondorf: Why didn't you tell him you were you while you were still Shiek!? You could have done it without the huge light and stuff!!  
Link: Eerr…yeah. See you all next week with a better story.  
Tingle: I need mah crack….


	3. Lets Interview, Me?

-Sigh- I looked at my story, with like, 100 hits

Link: Hello again! Tonight, were going to be interviewing, Hozat!  
Hozat: Huh, we are?  
Link: Hello Hozat! Welcome to the program!  
Hozat: Eerr… Yeah…  
Link: How do you feel about the state of the nation right now?  
Hozat: Well, if you mean the election, I don't really care cause I cant vote. But it seems that the nature of things upsets the balance of the two parties. The Republican's strategy to assault the opposing party is not boding well, while the democratic response falters as well. The state of things forces things out of balance because the single party keeps a constant stream of attacks; while the other party has nothing to do, but guard. While it both parties seem to profit, both parties seem to suffer losses. My views on these…  
Link: Damnit, I didn't know he would take this long.  
Zelda: What a loser.  
Hozat: Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla  
Link: What nonsense is he babbling now. Wait…  
Hozat:Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla  
Link: Are you just saying bla bla ba hoping I wont notice?  
Hozat: …possibly….  
Link: Well… Lets welcome our second guest! Give Malon a big round of applause!  
Malon: hum hmm hmm  
Link: Hello Malon!  
Malon: Hum hmm hmm hmm  
Link: Can you stop with the humming, its getting a little annoying.  
Malon: Hmm Hmm Hmm  
Link: Can you PLEASE stop the humming….  
Malon: Hmm Hmm Hmm  
Link: WILL YOU PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF DIN, HOLD THE HUMMING.  
Malon: Oh, alright.  
Link: Thank you, first question! Why must you hum so much?  
Malon: Because a horse kicked me and now I cant stop.  
Link:… Im done. This place is crazy. Im going out back to smoke with Tingle.  
Hozat: Why am I on this show?


	4. Takeover!

Link: Hello again

Link: Hello again!  
Hozat walks in and kicks Link away.  
"Im running things now." He said.  
Link: No way! This is my show!  
Hozat smiled and said, "Not any more, check the name!" He pointed to the title. "Hozat N Pals.  
"No… No! NO!!" Link fell on his knees crying like a baby.  
Hozat smiled and said, "Okay, my first quest today will be shadow orc #28. Hello #28!"  
Number 28 looked at him and grunted.  
"How do you feel about the Zelda series?"  
Number 28 looked at him, and smiled. "I actually don't seem to be fond of it because of the lack of association from the less important minions." He said in a very well educated voice.  
Taken aback, Hozat said, "Well, what would you do in the place of Ganondorf in OoT?"  
He looked at him and said, "Well, first off I would see to it that those of a hazard to me would be eliminated before I started to obtain supremacy. I would begin somewhere I can gain a strong foothold from. I would begin quietly, letting my grasp reach over a select few, who would do anything I say. Soon, I would have people in all places. Then, I would destroy those in authority, allowing my minions to take their places. Then, have them follow my rule." He finished.  
Hozat stared at him. "…"  
Number 28 smiled, "What? Is there a flaw in my plan?"  
"Ya." Hozat said. He pulled out the master sword and quickly cut him in half, watching him explode in the usual way. "You." He said.  
"Well, since I killed the guest… We are done for today! Good bye folks!"


End file.
